Album Review: LOUD.

Sorry for not being around for the past week,

but my computer's under construction at the moment.

I'll be back to normal when it gets fixed,

but until then, I'll be doing album reviews ONLY.

Anyway, current queen of the charts Rihanna

released her fifth album, LOUD, today.

And my friend Alex and I decided to listen to this shit.

I've decided to retire my world-famous* best-to-worst list,

and review it song by song.

Get ready for a mouthful.

S&M- B

As I said before, the beat doesn't go with the lyrics at all.

And at some points, she doesn't sound good,

but whatever. Ester Dean wrote it, so it's good enough for me!

What's My Name- A

The song is basically perfect STILL,

but after fully taking the song in, I realized something:

Drake picked the wrong song to be featured on.

Cheers (Drink To That)- B+

Avril Lavigne, be fucking lucky they decided to use your song.

Maybe one day, you'll be relevant again. But RiRi just murdered youuuuu.

DUH. By the way, good job. The chorus is excellent.

Fading- C-

I'm all for repetitive choruses, but this isn't cutting it.

Those high notes send me into tears though,

so I'll just call it average.

Only Girl (In The World)- A-

Come on now, who doesn't love this shit?

California King Bed- B-

I'm torn. The lyrics aren't the most creative,

but her voice and the acoustics are pretty fucking good.

Man Down- C+

I like how she's going back to the beginning with this song.

It's kind of a "I'mma bad bitch" song,

but wait. Don't tell your mom that you killed a man.

Oh yeah, and put the xylophone down.

Raining Men- A+

It doesn't get any better than this.

RiRi + Nicki Minaj = watch out, cunts.

Complicated- D+

I love the beat so much.

But seriously, if she wasn't belting out the chorus,

I'd give it an F. Nice try though.

Skin- A

I fucking love songs about sex,

and this turns ME on. Get it, bitch.

I didn't know Rihanna was this dirty!

Love The Way You Lie (Part II)- D

Eminem ruined it.

But it wasn't that good with or without him.

OVERALL GRADE: B-

* not really.